Leaving the house...

I often tell people I never leave the house, obviously this is a lie. I do venture outside occasionally. When the twins were babies and therefore couldn't walk, a pushchair was a must. "Go for a walk" they said. "Get some fresh air" they said. Well I must stress that it was impossible. I had two double pushchairs so physically could not leave the house alone. It does get slightly tedious having to ask for help to take my children for a walk. And as much as people want to help, they do have their own lives to live. "It'll get easier when they are walking" they said. The "it'll get easier" statement is one of the biggest lies of parenthood I'm sorry to say. In fact not just of parenthood. It's up there with "I'll be home in five minutes" "no you don't look fat in that" and all those Pinterest tutorials.

I still can not leave the house alone. Well I could if I don't mind losing a child, which although sometimes is tempting, is not an option.

So on Tuesday I recruited my partners brothers girlfriend (aha) to come for a walk with us. After getting all the children fed and washed and dressed and then myself, we were finally ready to go at 11am. We got up at 7. I'm not too sure why everything takes so long these days I'm dreading going back to the school run. Anyway, the best thing about the outside world, especially a nice forest walk, is that the twins get to burn off a shit load of energy and I am reminded of the beauty of the outside. Whenever I feel stressed or the twins are getting bored and restless I will just pack us in the car and drive to a forest.

Day trips are a different kettle of fish. As are park visits. In fact there is too much to say about those I think I'll have to do a different blog post.

Lauren xx

Do you ever feel like you're drowning?

I do. I feel like I'm drowning right now. I am exhausted. Physically and emotionally. Sometimes it feels as if whatever I do is never enough. I know most women or men do feel the same but when you experience it for yourself it's so lonely. I mean what makes me capable of raising these children? What makes anybody? It's scary and overwhelming and even to admit that, now, is even more frightening. I suppose I'm one of those people that try to keep everything inside and I have gotten quite good at that now. I don't ask for help but why not? Everybody needs support everybody gets scared. Today has definitely just been one of those days where nothing is right. But I know I have five little people looking and watching me and my behaviour and how I cope so I will carry on and start again tomorrow with a smile. No matter how weak you may feel you can always find strength from somewhere or someone. Just felt that I had to share my shit days as well as the great ones.

Lauren xx

Aeroplanes

So I have been AWOL again for a while so I'll bring you up to speed. The youngest set of twins have just turned two. Eeek! It's just flying by. The days are long but the years are short. So they say. whoever they are, i bet they don't have any children.


Anyway, why don't children listen? Even when they start the conversation with you. "mummy there's an aeroplane" oh that's a lovely aeroplane darling. "mummy theres an aeroplane" yes very nice I can see the aeroplane. "mummy theres an aeroplane" Yes I just said I can see the fucking aeroplane!!!


So I read a "fact" that four year olds ask 400 odd questions a day. I'm trying to mentally prepare myself for when I have four children asking me things that I do not know the answer to. Google is the mistress in our parental relationship. Although my oldest is more astute to the tricks. There's only so much longer I can keep up the facade. But no matter what, your children will always see you as their world. It's great. Even when I sing (and I can't carry a tune) they look at me like I've won eurovision. Which is obviously the aim of life.


Seriously though, as the children grow, so do the responsibilities. Just as you perfect how to deal with one phase, they are on to the next one. I just muddle through and hope I'm making the right decisions and I like to imagine most of you are the same.

Until next time, have a glass of wine and be strong
love lauren x