Leaving the house...

I often tell people I never leave the house, obviously this is a lie. I do venture outside occasionally. When the twins were babies and therefore couldn't walk, a pushchair was a must. "Go for a walk" they said. "Get some fresh air" they said. Well I must stress that it was impossible. I had two double pushchairs so physically could not leave the house alone. It does get slightly tedious having to ask for help to take my children for a walk. And as much as people want to help, they do have their own lives to live. "It'll get easier when they are walking" they said. The "it'll get easier" statement is one of the biggest lies of parenthood I'm sorry to say. In fact not just of parenthood. It's up there with "I'll be home in five minutes" "no you don't look fat in that" and all those Pinterest tutorials.

I still can not leave the house alone. Well I could if I don't mind losing a child, which although sometimes is tempting, is not an option.

So on Tuesday I recruited my partners brothers girlfriend (aha) to come for a walk with us. After getting all the children fed and washed and dressed and then myself, we were finally ready to go at 11am. We got up at 7. I'm not too sure why everything takes so long these days I'm dreading going back to the school run. Anyway, the best thing about the outside world, especially a nice forest walk, is that the twins get to burn off a shit load of energy and I am reminded of the beauty of the outside. Whenever I feel stressed or the twins are getting bored and restless I will just pack us in the car and drive to a forest.

Day trips are a different kettle of fish. As are park visits. In fact there is too much to say about those I think I'll have to do a different blog post.

Lauren xx

Do you ever feel like you're drowning?

I do. I feel like I'm drowning right now. I am exhausted. Physically and emotionally. Sometimes it feels as if whatever I do is never enough. I know most women or men do feel the same but when you experience it for yourself it's so lonely. I mean what makes me capable of raising these children? What makes anybody? It's scary and overwhelming and even to admit that, now, is even more frightening. I suppose I'm one of those people that try to keep everything inside and I have gotten quite good at that now. I don't ask for help but why not? Everybody needs support everybody gets scared. Today has definitely just been one of those days where nothing is right. But I know I have five little people looking and watching me and my behaviour and how I cope so I will carry on and start again tomorrow with a smile. No matter how weak you may feel you can always find strength from somewhere or someone. Just felt that I had to share my shit days as well as the great ones.

Lauren xx

Aeroplanes

So I have been AWOL again for a while so I'll bring you up to speed. The youngest set of twins have just turned two. Eeek! It's just flying by. The days are long but the years are short. So they say. whoever they are, i bet they don't have any children.


Anyway, why don't children listen? Even when they start the conversation with you. "mummy there's an aeroplane" oh that's a lovely aeroplane darling. "mummy theres an aeroplane" yes very nice I can see the aeroplane. "mummy theres an aeroplane" Yes I just said I can see the fucking aeroplane!!!


So I read a "fact" that four year olds ask 400 odd questions a day. I'm trying to mentally prepare myself for when I have four children asking me things that I do not know the answer to. Google is the mistress in our parental relationship. Although my oldest is more astute to the tricks. There's only so much longer I can keep up the facade. But no matter what, your children will always see you as their world. It's great. Even when I sing (and I can't carry a tune) they look at me like I've won eurovision. Which is obviously the aim of life.


Seriously though, as the children grow, so do the responsibilities. Just as you perfect how to deal with one phase, they are on to the next one. I just muddle through and hope I'm making the right decisions and I like to imagine most of you are the same.

Until next time, have a glass of wine and be strong
love lauren x

Exhaustion

Hi everyone!

Hope you are all well. There's a slight hint in the title to how I'm feeling at the moment. The thing nobody tells you when you find out you are expecting multiples is just how bloody exhausting it is! Even if they did tell you, which I am warning you now, nothing can prepare you for it. Some days every minute drags on as if it is an hour. It's like doing a marathon on your hands and knees.

Why wasn't i warned?!! There's no cure, no quick fix, no other way than to just get used to feeling Tired All The Time. But isn't that just part of parenting? Whether you have twins or triplets or more? There is always something to be done and always something to do.

The only way I have found to deal with this is just to plod through. I think this is my favourite piece of advice with all things relating to twins. You will get through it and it will get easier. Eventually. Even if that day is when they are moved out. It will happen. So just keep going no matter what because it is all worth it in the end. I promise. I know this even though I am nowhere near "the end" there is always a milestone to reach towards. The end of waking up for night feeds, the end of nappies, the end of reflux!

To be honest, you can become lost in the endless household tasks that only get noticed when they don't get done. (Mum where's my clean socks?) It is so important to take time for yourself. When the hell can I do that?! I can hear you asking me. I'll tell you my secret. I've started setting my alarm in the mornings. I never use an alarm because the sound of four children crying and shouting mummy is definitely enough to wake even the heaviest sleeper (somehow apart from my partner but that's another story). I set my alarm for quarter to seven. So I can wake myself up, lie in bed, go down and make myself a cup of tea and watch the news. It may only be fifteen minutes but it's MINE. (And sometimes it's longer!) And I feel so much more prepared for the day.

I'm not saying this will work for everybody. You may be able to do it at night, at lunchtime, at a random time of day, it doesn't matter WHEN it just matters that you do it. Because you matter and those minutes to yourself matter. So when I'm feeling so exhausted and drained I remember I'll have those minutes again and I'll cherish them! So I can cherish my children more.

Till next time
Lauren xx